The following is an overview of Marxist-Lennonism, not to be confused with Marxist-Leninism. Marxist-Leninism is not even a religion.

Marxist-Lennonism: A quick summary

A Marxist-Lennonist is a person who follows the teachings of Groucho Marx and John Lennon. Groucho said that he would never become a member of a club that would accept him as a member, and John Lennon taught us to give peace a chance, which I think is a pretty good basis for a religion.

No matter what you do, with religion you have to start simple and make things more complicated as you go along.

I know Groucho and John said and did many other things, but it is perfectly normal to pick and choose what you like amongst a religious leaderís attributes.

I have not yet picked a leader of the Marxist-Lennonist church (we donít want Yoko) and not yet filed for tax exempt status or started to get a fund raising organization in place.

I havenít quite worked out the higher being thing yet, but possibly we can latch on to some other religion and have Groucho be the new prophet and John the new martyred son of God.

Or maybe John was God, and we leave it at that. But then we donít have a proper creation approach. The God and seven days thing is pretty cool, but I donít think John could even roll a joint in seven days. Iíll have to work on that. Maybe we can soft pedal the whole creation thing. Just stick to one story, but acknowledge that Darwinism makes more sense.

We need to beef up Grouchoís role a bit more, maybe we can make him the creator.

Shrines and icons we have plenty. Liverpool will be the new Mecca. Icons are easy. Buddha, Jesus and Mohammed had to do without film and sound, we donít even really know what they looked like. We might have a copyright problem though. How does that mesh with non-profit status?

People from other religions please donít take offense.

Marxist-Lennonism has many similarities with the worldís major and minor religions. Christianity has prophets and saints. While they did well, none of them were perfect, even Jesus.

Our church structure will be no different from the Catholic Church structure. And whatís the difference between a pilgrimage to Cologne to see the bones of the Magi, or The Dakota in New York City to see the spot where John Lennon was shot?

Furthermore, the Marxist-Lennonist church is a totally pacifist church and will not be drawn into a religious war, unless the other churches restrict its ability to congregate of course. But any church trying to do that should remember that our demographics are young and wealthy. We can find the soldiers and we have the money.


Last Updated: 2/16/05